Excerpts from Our Real World

Slide

2011-11-23T01:32:00.000-08:00

Nell watched Donna talk to Father Mercado. It was the same conversation that they had every Sunday afternoon, the same conversation that she would have with Father Mercado when it was her turn to make her way to the doors. The words were platitudes that were passed between people so that they knew that the world still revolved the same way, that everyone was still in this together.

"Thank you Father, wonderful service." Donna said.
"Thank you my child. It was a pleasure to give it." Father Mercado graciously replied to the words. Nell hesitated to use the word compliment because a compliment implies that you thought something about what was going on. These were words of formality not choice.
"You're too modest Father." Donna continued.

It wasn't a long speech. You didn't have time for a long speech as you made your way out the door. There were people behind you and people behind them so you had to make sure that you got through your words quickly. Nell was very well practiced at it. Every Sunday Nell and Andy got dressed in solemn silence and drove over to St. George's Cathedral. They listened to Father Mercado give his sermon, they took communion and then they thanked the Father for his time on the way out. This was the comforting ritual of Sunday.

"Can't be too modest before God." Father Mercado replied to Donna and she took her cue to leave. She shook his hand and made for the door all under Nell's gaze.

Andy, his hand firmly gripping Nell's arm led her towards the priest and at that moment Nell wished that things were different. She wished that she had spent the morning lying in bed relaxing and enjoying the warmth of her covers. She wished that she could have read the paper and enjoyed another cup of tea without feeling that she was guilty for avoiding this place. She wished that Donna would come back so they could talk to each other. She wished that Andy's hand didn't grasp her elbow so hard. She wished that she felt that she had a choice in all of this. She wanted to yell at the Priest, tell him to go to Hell. She wanted to run out the door and into the grip of the winter snows outside and laugh like she was a child again.

"Thank you Father," Andy's deep voice broke through all of Nell's wishes and dragged her back into the consistency of the present. "Wonderful service" Andy added.
"Thank you my child. It was a pleasure to give it." Father Mercado's voice answered the compliment in the same measured tone as he had answered it last week.
Nell felt the grip on her arm. "You're too modest Father." Nell added that, taking her cue.
"Can't be too modest before God." The Father smiled as he completed the formula.

Nell took a step towards the exit but paused, causing Andy to drop his loosening grasp. She turned towards the Priest and asked, "Are you sure?"

2010-05-17T22:03:00.001-07:00

one
by
one

the ants go marching
away to

greener words

Update and stuff

2009-11-12T22:43:00.001-08:00

I haven't been updating here much because I've been working on a project for friends. There were five people who asked for a hand made gift and so I'm making each of them 5 poems and then sending them a copy of all of them.

It's been a little time consuming so nothing's been put up here.

better things

2009-09-19T21:21:00.001-07:00

i have better things to do:
i can write a letter.
i can make dinner.
i can knit a sweater
okay, i can practice knitting a sweater.
i can clean the house.
i can take a walk.
i can might just douse
any fires that I come across.

even my own

listening

2009-09-13T03:14:00.000-07:00

i refuse to let me use you to help me with you hurt me

11-09-2009

2009-09-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

we're sitting on a warm red couch talking of nothings that pass between us. you say we're making progress but you act like we've never moved. you want to stretch but are afraid of the results. i laugh, you laugh and we continue to sit. you lean back into me and say, "i want to love you" i laugh again. you smile, but you don't know that to want to love me you can't love me right now.

sardonic

2009-09-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

we sit and talk about love
ours
and the future
ours
and life
ours
and while away hours under
smoking coffee cups
and friendly laughs

alone in the dark
the words return
and realization strikes

the love was mine
the future was yours
and the life belonged to neither of us.

you said that you wanted to love me
my laugh remains
it's just become
sardonic

expectations

2009-09-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

what if you keep your expecations low
and they still aren't met?

what do you do when down isn't an option?

ii - in the E. Dickinsonian way

2009-09-06T06:10:00.000-07:00

all my goals are
simple

a window shudders
my knees shake

i - in the E. Dickinsonian way

2009-09-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

everything you want
must be done at light-speed

except me
who never learns

Present

2009-09-06T02:52:00.000-07:00

i was present for sleepless nights
high flying feelings fighting
with long sleepless nights
and crying fits
and calls for sleep

i was present for anxiousness
immediate
present
pressing
hot
hard
intense
insane
crazy
holding each other through
everything

but you can't remember that
i remind you
you say nothing

Dr. No Pain

2009-09-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

"Don't say it, baby." The golden body slid close. "Don't down the trip. We love you, No-Pain." They were all petting him now. "Happy, sing him! Touch, taste, feel. Joy!"

But there was no joy. But there was no fun. There was something that prevented anything from coming through at all. There were two arms, two legs, and a couple of fingers here and there but nothing that made up a whole person, nothing that gave it the electricity that Dr. No-Pain was looking for. Even the golden body he held up close to himself lacked the energy that he wanted to enjoy. It had nothing to it, it was an empty husk. He let the body he held slide down the body he owned while the rain pawed at the window unsuccessfully getting its attention. The window didn't care about the rain, and Slim didn't care about the parts.

Then Joy did show up, which was the worst thing in the world that could have happened to No-Pain.

"Hey Babe," He said as he tried to disentangle himself from all the grasping limbs and various other body parts on the floor, "it's not what you think."

Joy just looked at Dr. No-Pain, her eyes wide with horror tinted with a faint hint of disgust.

"I know I love you. You know I love you too," Dr. No-Pain continued, "but there's just something that's missing from you that I need to get a hold of." He had cleared the parts and was to step towards Joy, his arms outstretched lovingly, when he slipped on a spleen and fell backwards. His fall was cushioned by all the arms and legs, which prevented the fall from being more fatal against the unforgiving stone floor.

Joy took a step back towards the door, disgust beginning to cover the horror in her eyes.

The Doctor looked on, seeing where this was going and begging with his eyes for another chance. "Don't you see? I'm doing this for you? It's got to be here somewhere." He began to rummage through the parts on the floor tossing a long mane of hair to one side, a left hand to his right and a pair of legs without feet so far that it ended up sitting in the corner. Face after face after face when flying around. Dr. No-Pain whined with all his might at the pile of parts, "I need you! Where are you?"

Joy just watched the search for perfection through recycling and finally yelled back with contempt, "Right here you idiot."

There was a pause as her words seemed to resonate off of all the body parts on the floor. Then she turned, and walked away.

He yelled back, "Don't you walk out on me baby. I made you, I can take you apart!"

A door slammed. "Did you hear me?"

Joy had left again. Dr. No-Pain muttered under his breath, "She'll be back" while grabbing all the parts he needed. Perfection was no longer required, only that he had another one build just to show Joy what she was missing.

Then Joy would be perfect.

Read on Quirky Nomads.

constant

2009-09-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

constant tears kept continually at bay
Swell and Sweep

they do receed
but for now the waves do roll and the thunder

crashes

a-ion

2009-09-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

I anxiously accelerate anticipation of
contact touching
Line to line to line to line.

circumferencial connection.

We pass, with brief connectivity.
You pull

away

any charge is too much

Riding

2009-08-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

The sun shines on me
Warming my soul
Setting me free
To obtain my goal

On this fine day
Perfect for a ride
On a bright bay
Or a horse that's pied

These I like the best
Although I love them all
Palominos and the rest
In the saddle riding tall

We canter through the trees
Moving free and fast
Seeing what he sees
As we gallop passed

What I enjoy the most
Is the bond I feel
As we match the post
This joy is REAL!

--Yvonne Kalis

flowing

2009-08-26T02:39:00.000-07:00

Every step taken flows fowardly backwards.
We talk and move closer only to understand
the

distance.

Prepared

2009-05-21T00:11:00.001-07:00

You are never full prepared
For what you are fully prepared for.

You see the blade slashing downward.
It still bites

21+5

2009-05-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

These rites of spring do nothing but try.
The world wakes up and leaves me sleeping
Without Blankets or Fire.

Embittered against heart warming weather.

20+5

2009-05-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

You said that we were going to be okay
Our goals coincided.
Then it slipped out
I knew what you meant.

You would be fine.

19+-5

2009-05-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

The body adapts
Politics change
Desires move
Needs replace
Wants.

You can withstand dipping your heart in boiling water.
You just simply stop caring.

21/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

It is built. We had nothing to do with it. She pushes on and I understand we were all basking in her glow. We leave the city and I can still see it blazing over the early morning light. I face forward as the road moves beneath the feet which move beneath our hearts. Each of us changed slightly for the event.

20/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

We ride in cars around the block, several times. I'm getting dizzy from the spinning. It's a small parade is what I want to shout, what I did shout when I saw this when I was younger holding onto my mothers hand in the sun. It's everyone's day today though when we arrive. We give a few internalized words and a few externalized please. It's done. We can all admit that the fire is gone, to be consumed in a small box. We should probably build another.

19/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

Rot is the new china lilly, put on display for everyone to see. A few dry twigs, some bark on loan prop up the glass that allows people to pass on their guilt. What if I may I should I could have who could have known? We all did, making excuses on Borrowed time. Posturing is the only thing left for those who still wish for excuses, reasons they say, to do.

18/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:50:00.001-07:00

Everything blurs into a reality of time. Each moment flows to the next as we slide further and further on darkness. Unknowingly we march in the one direction we mistake for everyone. The fire is still out, no matter how many noses we blow.

17/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:49:00.001-07:00

The fire dies. Each of us flares up, welling with steaming hot water the gushes out and splashes on my mohter. If she had arms, she would hug us all but her attention was elsewhere. I call you and say that I'm finally on my way home. You cry.

16/04/2009

2009-05-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the dark with everyone else. We are all trying to keep a rasping, gasping fire going. We feed it our love and warmth but it gurgles back nothing but water, splashing our shoes with it's attention. The nothingness around us encroaches further and we look for comfort any way we can. Books, Words, Each Other. Nothing Helps.

Stories

2009-04-04T22:46:00.001-07:00

Oh the stories we can tell of life and love and all the failures that we have.
No one wants to hear of our successes.
They are fleeting.

The errors last for an eternity.

Organic

2009-03-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

I believe in organic writing.
No verbicide.
Which means I somethings get
a
bad
apple.

All Alone?

2009-03-05T13:48:00.000-08:00

I have abandonment issues.

I hum merrily, annoying little tunes
That lilt off my tongue
While ramptantly pacing 'round
Crowded theatre halls.

This is the song that never ends.
It is now 6:46
We meet at 6:45

I am certain you have found somewhere better to be.

I frequently forget
Things stupidly misplaced in my hands.
I am sure I left them on my head which
Leads me to keep looking
all/over
over/under
everything I own until
I give up and open my hands.

I am certain it had found somewhere better to be.

I work myself doggedly
ultimately down to the bone
Burning the marrow at both ends
Right up until it looks that I have almost
Completed
What I wanted to do, but then

Overtime not needed

2009-02-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

Not everything I write is for
you.
Occasionally they are for
me
but usually about
you
and how I feel about
you
or how things always come back to
you.
Romantically I can write about
me
typically involving natural settings but
you
are always in the background. Showering pixie dust all over
me.
You
tend to make
me
sneeze when
you
do that.

In the end, the box scores say
You: 8
Me: 6

No overtime needed.

Water vs water

2009-02-27T23:44:00.000-08:00

I don't understand the ocean.
It's sad, but true I must admit.
To me all oceanic metaphors are theoretical at best.
I have not practiced them a bit.

I understand what lakes mean
while sitting or standing on their shores
playing games, counting waves in
my own personal little hoard.

I have swam them, I have kissed them.
We shared our laughs and fears
while darting in and daring out.
Our parents drinking beers.

I've watched beavers weave earthen dams
watched people dive off water falls
and rapids hurry quick.
I've slept through all my loon calls.

There is no conclusion I can make
that brings up a resolution on my plight.
The ocean's grand says all the madams,
but great lakes make me take flight.

02/17/09

2009-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

I hate this old house. After many years it's still settling and every floor creak, every house murmur reminds me of you. Daggers of sound piercing my memories that I allow to drive me completely insane. Insensible. Inane. A flickering candle against a wall of despair.

win-ter

2009-02-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

You kiss me at the speed of a
glacier
I lick my lips
my tongue freezes to it's
metallic taste

interesting

2009-02-09T20:28:00.001-08:00

i ask you where you interests lie
you don't answer me
you focus on what's interesting

r.e.g.r.e.t

2009-02-09T20:27:00.000-08:00

lazy regrets are mistakes that haunt you
that you wish would go away
on their own
real regrets are those that haunt you
no matter what you do

A Bizzare Counting, Doubts Ensue

2009-02-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

All anyone ever dreamed about
Could be described, especially by
Dianic decisions.
Basic desires conflicting cruelly
at attachments below. Destiny
does advance amour, an element but canny,
deeds and does account certain describable bonuses
against Argent

Aghast, all adults call!
Adolescents engaging and
enjoying extracurricular
explorations by exercising
every baited breath. Bosom beats bosom,
breast connecting to breast as digits
delve
deeper
beyond common decency
creating cautious

exhalations

cries

counting casual cunnilingus
between consenting adults
defy exuberant anti-expressions.
Entrenched expectations enticing
confused ancient elders.

Stories

2009-01-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

We know all of each other stories
We can recite them by heart

in pieces.

Exit

2009-01-27T10:59:00.001-08:00

EXIT, Emergency.

pushing down window
Pull and hold bottom.
Out at window.
White .... red ....

Fast blushing Winners
At Shops College

Always Fresh.

(Yes I did a lot of paper writing, I'm just putting some of them up now)

Swinging

2009-01-27T10:50:00.000-08:00

Sonnets, regardless, are not about love.
They are merely looking at a reflection
Of a reflection. Hands giving a shove
In an attempt at misdirection.

They are all about who put them down.
A masturbatory scratching, moving
A pen pleasantly for effect. A fancy gown
with intellecutal decolletage. Revealing!

They should all be burned. At stake, en masse
Or any way comforting to the heart.
These things have run their course, their time is passed.
There is an end to everyone's part.

But don't lett these words swing on your rope
Just because some of us are beyond all hope.

27/01/09

2009-01-27T10:15:00.000-08:00

You sit down and tell me that you want to see what can be seen through your eyes into what is happening (or planning to happen) while we talk about talking and how we are going to find happiness at the end of a breath. I can see it.
Your breath, it floats over my head and disappears in the cold, frigid, love.

sp

2009-01-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

Why lips circle over
wasteful exhausting sighs
of potentially powerful contact.

They play at teasingly touching
moist metered rhyme
every step with it's own foot.

Kissing toes, a gay gamble
potentially off-putting but
possibly gaining great gasps of shock

Heaving cages pushing up high
the further up the map intrepid travelers go
stopping at multiple tourist stops.

One is a house on a hill at the peak of a valley
A pleasant temperate climate prone
to fluid frequency.

Escape to the hill top is mounted
while you challenge the water rapids
keeping touch light to the edges.

Each gentle bump causing quivering, shuddering

silence.

Filler Post! YAY!

2009-01-17T08:12:00.000-08:00

Time watches while we ebb.

(been busy, otherwise I would be posting more)

2009-01-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

You mightn't have seen me coming
the way I snaked my way into your dreams
took up residence in your memories
But I thought you might like to know
(now that those things
we shouldn't have said
have all been said)
Your memories are the only place I'll live
Your dreams are the only ones I'll haunt
And you mightn't see me leave

09/01/09

2009-01-10T21:11:00.000-08:00

I received an unexpected visitor. Two of them flew down to me on ignorant metal wings, we talked and I realized that I was not you, or you. The differences shown through by the way you ate your french fries. I had onion rings. They never were able to connect.

08/01/09

2009-01-08T12:22:00.000-08:00

You whisper sweet nothings to me, and then I realize completely what that means. You tell me what you want of me, of us, of me, of you and I can see the desire of your speech. It's your body that's melted by the heat of your words as you fall between my hands. Kiss me darling. Kiss me later.

07/01/09

2009-01-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

I sit here facing the glowing bars of my electronic prison. My fellow inmates have been freed for lunch, or maybe dinner. The white washed walls reflect the day poorly on our multi-coloured selves. I wrap myself in the air around me and wish for sleep.

06/01/09

2009-01-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

We talk through bright shiny screen doors. It's easier when we aren't face to face. We touch, and giggle, and fondle each other through the protective measure. Then someone stupidly opens the door, and we're stuck naked looking at each other. I tried to cover you up. You just stared at me, red everywhere. I only hope tomorrow we can shut the door again thought it might be virtually impossible.

04/01/09

2009-01-04T16:01:00.000-08:00

You show your desire for perfection. You want everything to be wishes and rainbows and unicorns before you move forward. Other's flaws freeze your feet from following your path. You ignore your own. You're blinded by the rainbow.

I was waiting

2009-01-02T21:12:00.000-08:00

I was waiting for you
to be the man I remember from my youth
to smile without the sadness
to laugh without the lie

I was waiting for you
to see that love still lived inside you

Imagine my surprise when you stood before me
back from the dead
(I hadn't realized how hard I was waiting)

02/01/09

2009-01-01T22:10:00.000-08:00

The new year rang in on a whisper. Somewhere something dropped but we were apart. I couldn't see you, or hear you over the loud beeping in my ear. There was an aborted kiss lingering between the two of us. Something had died. You think it was your mouth. The air wonders why you care.

Wind

2008-12-31T19:45:00.000-08:00

There is a breeze
it always star t s w i t h o n e.
it blows gentle
THEN HARD
and back down again.

An abusive winter's love affair

30/12/08

2008-12-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

You startled me awake with half remembered offerings. Your focus is to a penny. I ask you if you want to wash money, you laugh and ask about your mind. I have plenty of evidence supporting your intellect. It's desire that's being spent.

Tide

2008-12-29T12:54:00.000-08:00

I ebb
Homewards in brisk breezy
Winter winds

Collectively oozing only
with complaint compatriots.
We flow.

Our human tide run
by metal moons
the heartbeat of our
art-ifice

One leafless tree in a concrete bed

29/12/08

2008-12-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

I flood down the street reading. I look around, car blasting, train chasing, home wrecking and I realize that I'm lacking in poetry. I pull my heart out and breathe life into it and.